Noah’s Dilemma

105106A farmer returns from the market, where he bought a goat, a cabbage and a wolf. On the way home he must cross a river. His boat is small and won’t fit more than one of his purchases. He cannot leave the goat alone with the cabbage (because the goat would eat it), nor he can leave the goat alone with the wolf. How can the farmer get everything to the other side in this RIVER CROSSING PUZZLE

Now replace his little boat with Noah’s arc, and you get the picture.  Or story.

How do you keep a lion, buck, and mosquito happy and healthy when they have to share the same hotel room? Alas, imagine a world of cage-less beasts and fowl, all floating in a single raft, and you’ll understand my situation.

The issue: when He recommended I build the arc and keep all his animals alive and going, the Great One (may He guide us to peace) didn’t mention anything about bringing food. No plants, grains, grass, soybeans, or dried beef. Food? Vitamins? Protein source? What? What was the Great One (may He guide us to peace) thinking ?

So here we are, three days into our cruise, with lion looking at buck, mosquito looking at cow, bird looking at fly* — and we’re all hungry. One big happy family.

We vote to keep things civilized. But there’s nothing civilized about hunger. The animals gave me an ultimatum. So I did what had to be done. We drew lots. And some lost.

Thus the spotted heel-heads, red alligators, flying squirrels (the eight-legged variety), and an assortment of other species went extinct**. It happened very quickly. No creature suffered. Unfortunately the red alligators didn’t taste too good. Even the flies wouldn’t touch them. The loss of the red alligators was a waste, yes, but they never were a friendly pair. No one missed them.

* The Great One (may He guide us to peace) didn’t clarify whether he wanted two of EACH of the 100,000,000 fly species present on Earth before the flood. I chose 500 fly species to bring along, trying to stick to the ones that didn’t bite.

** I’ll admit some of the noisier animals “volunteered” to go extinct before lots were chosen. May the Great One forgive me (and may He guide us to peace).

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